Wishful Thinking

I am really not that friendly but pretty lucky to have nice people around me whom I call friends.-A line from my Friendster Profile.

True!
I am masungit, I am suplada, maldita, intimidating, snobbish.
I am very finicky when it comes to making friends.
But once I consider you as my friend, count on it, I will be at your side till the end.

I had my high school best friend-Rochelle. We were really close. We write each other letters. We share clothes and shoes. We even had a theme song. We hold hands while walking in the mall. We are both mababaw. We are both iyakin. We call each other sis. We have petty quarrels.

Until we argued over our burger business,

That alienated us from each other.

I felt betrayed.
I was hurt.
I felt alone.
I lost a friend and a sister.

The gap lasted for two years. She was not there when I found out that I was pregnant. She was not there when I got married. She was not there when I gave birth to my first baby.

But time heals all wounds.

We just found ourselves talking but not discussing the past. We were trying to be close again but things are not the same.

But we are friends.

My best friend in Mapua- Sheila. She was my exact opposite. Im the quiet and suplada type while she’s the loud and the wala akong pakialam type. We also write letters. We take a bath together, share clothes and shoes. We love dressing up. We love to eat and smoke. We love to drink and get drunk. We share our deepest secrets with each other. We also argue sometimes. Well, that is normal I guess.

Distance separated us from each other. I got married. She became a successful designer.

We see each other during special occasions but the closeness is no longer the same.

In her Friendster, I saw her pictures with someone whom she calls her best friend.

Once, I had chat with a common friend, she told me. Yeah, they call each other best friend. Why, jealous ka? I replied, Okay lang.

Then she said, Diba meron ka ding ka close dyan? Yung girlfriends mo?

She was talking about Merle and Bimbie.

Last year, I found myself bonding with these two girlfriends in the office. If I remember it correctly, it all started in a picture taking. We had this really beautiful picture together. That one was our best picture, I should say. haha!

From then on, we became picture addicts and we call ourselves The Charmed Ones. Merle is Phoebe, I’m Piper and Bimbs is Page. They are my best girlfriends.

Whether I am happy or blue, excited or uneasy, pleased or irritated, my two girlfriends are always the first one to know.

They know me very well, inside out, and they accepted me for who I am. They way I accepted them both.

Merle is very Sheila. She speaks her mind and some kinda loud, haha! She will laugh as loud as she wants and she does not care. A very intelligent and talented mom of three. And hear this, I never imagine that she is soooooo patient when it comes to her hubby, really! She loves her family so much. Merle is a very good listener and she knows how to weigh things before she gives advices and suggestions.

Bimbs in a way is the same as Rochelle. She considers me as her fashion consultant, haha! as if! A very unpredictable girl- you will not have an idea what is on her mind. She is sweet and thoughtful. She sends candies or chocolates or anything for no reason at all. She cries a lot, very vulnerable, and she does what she wants! oh well.

I felt alone when Rochelle and I parted ways. I was so jealous when I saw pictures of Sheila with her best friend.

And I was so lucky to have Merle and Bimbs.

Until the 17th of November 2006.

No need to write everything in detail.

The bottom line is WE HURT EACH OTHER but never meant to.

Maybe someday we will find ourselves talking, laughing, hugging together again but not saying that things are not the same.

Because all I want is to bring everything the same as before.

I WISH!