My UNICA HIJA

She celebrated her first birthday last Saturday, September 8 at Mcdonalds.

Looking back, when I first found out that I was pregnant, my mind was not set to have another baby. Jule that time was one year and seven months old. I told people that I am not sure yet if I am pregnant or not, though I took the pregnancy test and those kinds of tests really works for me. In short, I was still on the denial stage, can you believe that?

O well, I hate it kasi when people ask me this way, buntis ka na naman? As if they pay for my delivery, diba? And of course, another baby means additional expense and we are not talking about small amount here. The milk, the diaper, the milk, the diaper, the milk, the diaper…

It was really a matter of time before I conditioned myself with everything. I just told myself, God gave me this. And every baby is a blessing. If people asked me that question, I answered them, oo, bakit hinihingan ba kita ng pampaanak ko? with a big smile on my face.

My pregnancy was really not very easy. I had morning sickness. I hate the scent of Palmolive shampoo. I hate perfumes. I hate toothpaste. I love instant noodles. I love C2 Red. I am so lazy, I hate getting up early in the morning. I am always thirty minutes late, that I have to request for a change for my time schedule. Not to mention that I am always not feeling well and that explains my frequent vacation and sick leaves.

I told my obgyne, this will be my last pregnancy even if it will be another baby boy. Many were telling me it looks like it is going to be a girl this time because I am pretty daw. I just smiled at them. You know why? I have been hearing that same comment on my first two pregnancies. I kept on wearing pink clothes because I really wanted a baby girl. So I told myself, it is very fine if my third baby will be a boy again. I do not mind at all, really.

Until I had my ultrasound on the 7th month, I went to the clinic alone anyways, I really had my monthly checkup alone because I usually visit my obgyne during weekdays. The doctor asked me what my two kids are. I told her I got two boys. Then she said I need a girl to complete them. I told her, it does not matter anyways. Then she smiled and said, it is a girl! I was teary eyed. I said, really po? Hindi na po ba mababago yan? then she said, sa tingin ko hindi na.

I was so happy to know that my third and last baby will be a girl. I texted almost everybody from my phonebook. And they all replied with great excitement as I am. From then on, I am so proud that I am pregnant. I also thought, God really planned everything!

A month after, my officemates threw a baby shower party for me. Our house was full of food, pink and white balloons and baby stuff. I was sooooooooo overwhelmed.

Since it will be a girl, I conditioned myself to give birth on Mama Mary’s birthday. I was awake during the whole operation which was by the way the first time and I have no idea why. I saw her face and I heard her cry. I was so happy. And I was crying.

Of course, I want her name next to mine. That is why I named her Margueritte Gayle.

To my dear Princess,

Your kuya Luigi once told me, Mommy parang hindi ka masaya. I asked him, Bakit mo naman nasabi yan? Then he answered, Kasi hindi natin kasama si Gayle eh. Then I said, Bakit masaya lang ba si Mommy pag kasama si Gayle? He answered, OO, natutuwa ka lang pag kasama si Gayle.

I felt guilty after that short conversation with your kuya Luigi. When I was pregnant with your kuya Luigi, I wanted it to be a girl. And when I was pregnant with kuya Jule, I wish it would be a girl. That is why when I was pregnant with you, I stop wishing and hoping it would be a girl. And it was a girl.

But that does not mean that I do not love your kuyas. I love you all. It was just that I am so excited to have a girl because we can share girl stuffs. I wanted us to have the same clothes, same bags, slippers, shoes. We can go to the parlor together to fix our hair. Things like that. I just wish we have the same fondness with everything. I just wish.

As early as now, I can see that you love your kuyas especially your kuya Luigi. Because you love kissing and hugging him. I can also predict as early as now that you and kuya Jule will always argue over anything and everything.

Your Daddy loves you so much. If only you knew how happy he was when he first laid his hands on you. He was the first one who took care of you in the hospital. He fed, he changed your diaper and he puts you to sleep. He even wants to teach you his sport, softball. Of course, Mommy super disagrees with that.

I wish you good health. It really hurts us to see you having a hard time in breathing because of your asthma. I wish you become an obedient daughter. Please always bear in mind that Daddy and Mommy will never do anything that will not be good for you and your kuyas. We want the very best for you because we love you so. I wish you will be surrounded with good people who will be your own inspiration. I will never oblige you to become like me because you will have your own personality. We will just be by your side to guide in every step you take.

Happy First Birthday, my dear.
Mommy loves you.